I know how to appreciate because I have done so and I do feel so much blessed for everything Ive received. But sometimes, Im too tired and sick of being confined to my own grounds. Cant say much. Defying? I dont have the slightest intention to do so. "To understand is simply even way too difficult to comprehend." Im only filled with confusion. Very emotionally upset. Definitely agitated. Unsettling at the moment. Its too rigid to think about being my ownself.