I dont have the mood to do anything today after what happened yesterday.I felt really terrible but one thing for sure that i know is i did not blame myself as i did not know know the real thing that is happening and i wasnt told. But im still doing my work.I guess its better to continue doing even though i tend to drift away at times.Thats me.I cant sit still without doing anything.Haix...I guess it was meant to be this way.Everything.I felt sooo pathetic and really useless. I dont know why but i kept thinking about it because its not the first time but "first time" as in experiencing something soo sweet and cared for but it the end, it wasnt what i thought it to be. So all this while i was kind of in my own world.Guessing whether its really true or am i dreaming about it. Up till now, after i woke up, i could not forget the whole thing.I kept telling myself it was all a dream or simply put it wished it was a dream but after all its not.It was slammed to my face and the aftermath i received, i just could not handle it. My emotions are really fragile but it seems as though it was not noticed and so my emotions were played around as though i was a toy, i did not exist. In the first place, just tell me what needs to be done so i will not fall deeper but nothing! NOTHING! HONTOU BETSUNI!! Just felt like crying but why must i waste my tears on this kind of stuff. I mean its considered nothing right, especially to my mum because she doesnt like me to waste my time on BGR and wants me to put my concerntration on other areas that are more important, like education, but i could not control it. I just could not anymore. I have a lot to worry about. How can i not think about it? Im not a toy and i got feelings. Real feelings.This looks like the end of the road to me.I cant do anything anymore except to feel sad and sulk..